Leading like a coach goes beyond having the right questions, frameworks, and conversational tools. It requires a shift in mindset and perspective on a leader’s role. Here, we explore some of these principles inspired by Timothy Khoo (former CEO, Coach, and Associate Senior Consultant at ROHEI), in his sharing with AEN during the height of the pandemic—principles that remain incredibly relevant today.
The traditional command-and-control leader, who knows it all, is no longer viable with today’s workforce, especially in an uncertain and rapidly evolving landscape. As Peter Drucker predicted, “The leader of the past knew how to tell. The leader of the future will know how to ask.” The effective leader of today and tomorrow is able to lead like a coach.
Increasingly, coaching is a skill that good managers at all levels need to develop and deploy. — IBARRA & SCOULAR, HBR
But developing coach-like leadership goes beyond having the right questions, frameworks, and conversational tools. The following are key principles taken from Tim Khoo, Coach, former CEO, and Associate Senior Consultant at ROHEI, in a dialogue hosted by the AEN (Adult Education Network).
1. Be the best for the world vs. Be the best in the world
“Do I want to be the best in the world? Do I want to be the CEO again?” Tim asked himself during a reflective season in his journey. “Or is the second half of my life about being the best for the world? One word difference, but it makes all the difference in the world.”
“Leadership begins the moment you are more concerned about others' flourishing than you are about your own.” — ANDY CROUCH
2. Model fallibility vs. Hide fallibility
The truth is, everyone knows that we are fallible. Trust can be built amazingly fast when leaders start to show their flaws and talk about them.
Being a coach-like leader is having the courage to take the first step and lead by example, being vulnerable and talking openly about one’s own faults. This empowers staff with the courage to go into uncomfortable places and gain greater self-awareness, helping them build wellness and resilience, and discover their own next steps.
It takes a deft skill to be able to help someone see themselves. —TIM KHOO
“The indispensable role of the coach is to be able to help them—not tell them—but help them discover the truth and the reality of what is happening, that may or may not be
something that they want to discover about themselves,” Tim Khoo explained, “It takes a deft skill to be able to help someone see themselves.”
3. "I am beside you" vs. "I am above you"
Higher-value activities are more complex to manage. They require creativity, complex problem-solving, innovation, and learning agility—qualities that are not naturally manifested, and in many cases need to be drawn out and nurtured in a culture of trust.
Even though the leader is still the boss, the power of being a coach-like leader is in the relationship. In this environment of listening and sharing, coach-like leaders are able to build a foundation of trust and relationship that unlock the higher-value capabilities in people.
4. "I don't know vs. "I know"
This leads to curiosity and interest, rather than judgement and assumptions. Tim highlighted that wisdom requires unlearning—identifying and letting go of one’s assumptions and biases. “If I coach the person, and I’m curious about them, wherever they want to go, I can ask the powerful questions that will help get them into that place, even if I knew nothing about that particular area.”
If knowledge is about learning, sometimes wisdom is about unlearning.